So...deviantArt...

I graduated today.

The beginning of my day sucked ass though. I mean, I was up at nine a.m. when the ceremony didn't even start until two (we had to be there at noon) and all I wanted to do is bawl my fucking eyes out because I was so tired I couldn't see straight or fathom a smile.

I was a little sleep deprived. O.o

But no, Isabella would never dare cry in front of the class of 2008. Why? Because, put short and sweet, they are a bunch of assholes. And even if it's the last day I have to show up there, I still don't want those jerks seeing me sob my eyes out. For the most part, half of them, at least, are some of the worst people I've ever met.

Which brings me to my next case.

My diploma.

School is important and I learned a hell of a lot there. It's a great feeling to know I survived it because it was a battlefield of depression, angst, anger and so much else every other day of the week. But this diploma...it's too small.

It says I have completed 13 years of school. Which ought to be good enough, yes? No. No, it's not good enough.

I woke my ass up at six in the morning every day for ten months for the last thirteen years so I could go to school and have miserable days where I'd fight with my friends or get harrassed by the junior class about my eye condition, or that time my ex best friend and her gang decided to tell me I was a freak and I didn't deserve to have anyone love me. Where, in that diploma, is my perserverance written?

They say it's not the bad times you need to look on. It's the good ones. Our class motto was"We did it our way; looking back on the good days, there's not a lot I regret."

What good days? Not a day of my high school career went by that I didn't regret something I did. Not a day went by that I didn't regret half of the student body treating me like a retard or something.

So what the fuck is this stupid scrap of paper good for anyway? I'm angry that they chopped down a tree just to give me this dumb certificate that says "Conratulations. You learned something." They don't even know the half of it! I learned how mean people are. I learned how to develop a thick skin and cry later. I learned how to be a conformist citizen "Raise your hand when you want to speak. Take notes on anything that's flashed before your eyes." I'm sorry, but if that's all this stupid school's done for me, I hate it.

I think I deserve a gold plated trophy. There were times I should've gone to the counselors or the office and ratted all kinds of people out for things. Did I? No. There were times I felt like I'd be better off dead than spending another day with that group of people.

But did I do anything like that? No, I'm still standing here.

And they give me this lifetime achievement award that says "Hey, you made it, now go get 'um tiger." This piece of paper is bullshit to everything I've had to put up with to get it. And right now, I don't really feel like it's worth what it should be. I'd like a little recognition for surviving all those times I felt like slitting my wrists. I'd like compensation for all those times Junior and Senior classes were just "being juniors and seniors." I'd like a little alimony for putting up with all that immature drama I'vew put up with all these years. I'd like it if somebody would notice how hard I worked to get this stupid piece of paper so that maybe they'd understand what they have to do to make the fight for this thing worth it.